I’ve decided to write about my pregnancy and birth story because when I was pregnant with Edie, I read so many other blogs that reminded me that I had the strength within me to do this. Being pregnant and the thought of giving birth is scary, exciting, and can be overwhelming. While my pregnancy was not typical of most, hopefully sharing my story will remind women of their strength when they are having doubts and maybe help ease others who might be going through the same thing I endured.
As I am writing this, I will tell you that Edith is almost 19 months old. I just recently had my first menstrual cycle after more than two years of being pregnant and breastfeeding, but that’s another post all in itself. Even after all this time, I feel like my body is just returning back to normal and that I’m starting to feel like myself again. Those pregnancy hormones are no joke, and toss a little hypothyroid into the mix, you start to feel crazy. But I am getting ahead of myself, let’s go back to the beginning.
I had a typical pregnancy in the beginning. We actually told our families at Christmas before I had even been to the doctor, not knowing how far along I actually was when we told everyone. Which to some might seem crazy, but even if we had lost the pregnancy, I feel it’s really important to have love and support either way. I have had so many close friends of mine grieve miscarriages, scared to talk about them. It’s then when you need the most support, yet so many remain silent and suffer alone. If this is you, or you know someone struggling, please reach out of them. If you are reading this now, please send me a message and let’s talk, us mama’s got to stick together.
My first scare was around 13 weeks. I remember this moment so vividly, I was sitting on the couch with Justin just relaxing after dinner when I felt something warm (almost like I had wet myself). I ran to the bathroom and there was blood everywhere. I screamed for Justin and was crying because at that moment, I thought, this is it… we’re losing the baby. This was really an eye-opening experience for us because it took us hours to get ahold of the on call doctor, couldn’t get ahold of my regular doctor the next day to come in and see where we were (if I was even still pregnant). It was then I realized that I needed a new healthcare provider, one that actually knew my name and would call back and get me in when something like this happened. Going in for an ultrasound the next day was the last time I went to that hospital and saw that doctor, but it was also the first time we actually got to see our baby girl on the screen, her heartbeat going strong. We just cried and squeezed each other’s hand and were so thankful we still had our baby.
What I had at 13 weeks was called a subchorionic hemmorage, if you’d like to learn more about it click here. It’s actually fairly common and usually has no ill long-term effects on a pregnancy, but living through it was terrifying. Bleeding/spotting in the first trimester is very normal but anything beyond that warrants a call to the doctor.
After that scare at 13 weeks, I switched doctors and hospitals. Upon doing some more research, I decided that a midwife encompassed more of the birth plan I had envisioned and found a group a midwives that delivered at the hospital that I had switched over to. It was the best of both worlds, personal care and someone with you every step of the way (midwives are awesome) and I had the safety net of a hospital. The doctor that I had originally came to see at the new hospital was very nice, and I really liked her clinic. One of my best friends had recommended her from the birth of her first son, but I still knew it wasn’t the right fit after going for my first appointment. Funny story, my friend actually left that doctor too and switched over the midwife practice, and has one successful natural birth and is due any day now with baby number 3. I have the utmost respect for OBGYN’s, but they are surgeons. They are there for high risk patients, and I am so thankful they exist because I ended up needing many doctors at the end of my pregnancy. But I knew if I stayed with an OB for my prenatal care and delivery, that doctor might not even be the one delivering our baby if I didn’t go into labor on their “on call” day. Here in the U.S., there’s a stigmatism with the word midwife, and hospitals are making it hard for midwives to practice. It makes me so sad that the rest of the world seems to have this figured out, that midwives empower women and help us take on birth and motherhood with amazing prenatal and postnatal care, but here in the U.S. they have to fight for their rights, my midwife is among those who are fighting for her right to practice in a hospital and support her mothers.
For a quick second, let me just tell you what you get when you are under the care of a midwife. You get personalized care, you get to know them (and their family) and they get to know you (and your family). You become invested in one another. I had my midwife on speedial, I could shoot her a text and I would know that within 30 minutes she would reply. I still got all the bloodwork, genetic screenings, checkups and sonograms that I would have at any OB clinic, but I had a friend who sat and talked to me, invested in my pregnancy, and cared for my unborn child. I also knew that she would be there every step of the way for delivery. Ob’s show up when it’s time to deliver (to push), midwives come to the hospital with you as soon as your admitted and labor with you for your entire birth journey. If you live in Kansas City, you can find more information about my midwife Kara, and her partner Julie here. They both took such good care of me and our baby girl Edie.
Fast-forward to 31 weeks pregnant, I go in for a regular checkup with my midwife and my blood pressure was elevated. I hadn’t had any issues since that 13 week scare, so it was surprising when the midwife told me to go straight to the hospital. I ended up getting admitted and stayed for about 4 days until being sent home on complete bedrest. It was here I was diagnosed with gestational hypertension. That’s when I started seeing an OBGYN, I was now high risk. I will say that my midwife never left my side, I still came in for regular appointments with her in addition to appointments with the OBGYN, even if she wasn’t going to get paid. I was told my delivery would now be the OBGYN and that not my midwife, I was devastated.
At around 34 weeks, I was sent back to the hospital and stayed for about 5 days, then sent back home. My blood pressure continued to become more unstable, and my goal was just to make it to the 36 weeks mark. Depending on what hospital you deliver at, the rule for the hospital I was at was if I made it to 36 weeks, the baby didn’t automatically go to the NICU. Even if Edie had been born one day before that 36 week mark, she would have automatically been removed from my room. I was induced the morning of hitting that 36 week mark. My midwife monitored my care, and helped me deliver our daughter vaginally without cutting me open (c-section). I am so thankful I had our midwife Kara. Luck has it that the OBGYN was out of town that weekend so Kara just had to run things past the doctor on call, but she was in charge of my care and running the show! She’s the reason I’m still here and that we have beautiful, thriving, baby girl.
Labor and Delivery
I had a really rough delivery. This is in no way to scare any mama’s about to go through this, but as a reminder that I had every wrench thrown into the plan and I came out on top with a healthy baby. You can have your birth plan laid out but just realize nothing is ever set in stone. Nothing about the the day I gave birth had any resemblance of what I thought it would look like, but whatever happens, it ends with a squishy baby that is yours. It wasn’t easy, but I found strength within myself that I didn’t even know I had.
I was induced and labor started around noon. I couldn’t move out of the bed because of my elevated blood pressure. If I stood up or moved, my blood pressure would skyrocket and I ran the risk of a heart attack or stroke. I was put on a magnesium drip, which was terrible but necessary. Once the magnesium, started, I also had a catheter put into place because I couldn’t physically get out of the bed. Magnesuim keeps your blood pressure down but then you have to be hooked up to leg compression machines and you can’t move (these machines help pump and circulate blood in your legs so you don’t risk blood clots). Once my labor started to progress, the contractions came on. I couldn’t move or adjust myself, literally strapped to the bed. I told my midwife that I wanted an epidural (something that I was extremely nervous about, that I had never planned on having with my natural “with a midwife” birth) and that I needed it quickly.
Laboring at 4-5 centimeters is hard when you can’t move… and come to find out, epidurals don’t work well with my body. The epidural never truly worked, even when they repumped it twice with more meds. I was still rolling in pain, unable to move, my blood pressure slowly climbing up. The rest is kind of a blur. At this point I had been in labor for 18 hours, I was in severe pain, and I was just trying to survive. That’s when the anesthesiologist came in and told me they were going to do a spinal tap (since the epidural didn’t work). I was a bedridden woman laboring at 8 centimeters with no pain relief and skyrocketing blood pressure. Let’s just say there were a lot of people in the room. The spinal tap worked, after I projectile vomited all over my poor husband and the innocent nurse standing next to him, my heart rate and the baby’s heart rate dropped and I passed out. I was fine though, no longer in pain. My midwife let me sleep for an hour before I pushed, and before I knew it I had Edith in my arms. Justin, my husband, caught her and cut the cord.
Let me just start by saying that I am so thankful to still be here. Things got scary real quick near the end of my pregnancy, but I came out on top and with a beautiful baby girl. We had actually opted to not find out the sex, so when Justin caught Edie as she came out, we both had tears when we saw she was a beautiful baby girl!
We weren’t quite out of the woods after delivery. I still had to stay another week in the hospital until my blood pressure was stable enough for me to go home. Also, because Edie was born at 36 weeks, she did have some jaundice that required therapy and was having some breathing and swallowing issues. She was still a preemie, but came out at 7 pounds 4 weeks early! She would have been huge if I had gone to term.
Soon-to-be Mamas, you’ve got this! I hope what you take away from this is that our bodies can do amazing things, and that as women we have an inner strength that can surpass all. I am so thankful for all my blessings; my husband, a healthy baby girl, all the nurses and doctors that helped us along the way, and our amazing midwife.
Have a birth story you’d love to share? Please comment and leave a link, I would love to read it. Feel free to message me with any questions about my story. If you are going through something similar, just know that you have the strength to endure, and will make it through. You’ve got this mama.
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