Let’s start this off by saying I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING. Edie is my first kid. My first girl. My first everything. I use to joke that my dogs were my furbabies and were preparing me for actual motherhood, boy was I wrong.
I will tell you, I am GOING TO START LEARNING. Very quickly. Being a parent, even a second… third… or fourth time parent, you never know what you’re going to get. Each kid is different, they are tiny humans that are angry because they can’t communicate exactly what they want, and even if they could, the world isn’t always fair so they’ll probably wouldn’t get it anyway. That’s when you get the angry, bucking, kick you in your throat toddler in the middle of Walmart while your trying to buy a damn vegetable peeler.
We were super spoiled with Edie as a baby. She hardly ever cried, and when she did, you knew that she needed something. And usually once you got her that something, she was perfectly content again. It wasn’t really until the last month or so, that we have been getting comments from family like “oh boy, you’re gonna be in trouble” or “just you wait”. These comments came from little snippets of Edie not getting her way, and her letting us know her displeasure.
We’ve also had some major life changes going on (sold our house, moved in with our mother-in-law because we couldn’t find a house to buy in time), and Edie is human, so she’s been adjusting to our new rhythm of life. But, Mama is drinking a glass of rose as I’m writing this blog post, as Grammy is giving Edie a bath and then it’s bedtime (thank goodness). Definitely a bonus of living in your mother-in-law’s basement, you get a extra hand when you need a moment.
So Mamas out there struggling, I see you. Ignore those dirty looks you get from randos in the checkout line that are judging… if they had kids they’d understand (or maybe they wouldn’t and well, we’re just not friends with them). Strap that kid into that shopping cart of yours, take a breath, and get your business done.
MY PLAN OF ACTION
I am going to give myself more grace. Take a breath when things get hard, and if she punches me in the throat while I’m trying to hold her, I’m going to try my best to remain calm and keep doing what I’m doing. Everyone around me will just have to deal. I have to be able to go to the grocery store and get groceries, I can’t just walk out every time she starts to throw a fit, that’s just not reasonable. What I can do is treat her with kindness and calmness, and hope that if I get her into a safe spot (like buckled into a grocery cart), she can take the moment (or momentssssss) she needs to gather herself and calm down.
I wish I had the answers. I know there are probably a million parenting books that could give me the answers, but every kid is different and as parents we have to help these tiny humans learn to deal with the world around them.
Before I had Edie, I was an elementary school teacher. I had to rangle 25+ kids all day, everyday. I will tell you, none of that compares to taking care of your own tiny human 24/7. It’s totally different. It’s magical, wonderful, stressful, and exhausting all at once.
Do you have a strong-willed child? I’m open to pointers, Mamas got to help other Mamas out!
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